i used to be a control freaky perfectionist who believed there was one right way to think, be, live, love, vote, and even redesign. i hurt people before i came to see how wrong i was. about everything. i hurt myself too. i fought for what i believed. all. the. time. i was so completely uptight. but then...well, you know...do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
so our home is a peaceful place now NOT because we no longer make mistakes. but because we have become comfortable with our own wrongness and quick to forgive. when you are aware of how fabulously flawed you are, it becomes impossible to hold the fabulous flawedness of others against them. we have not seen frozen yet, but i already know i'm going to cry when she sings let it go. because once upon a time i could not let it go. but the ones i love did not give up on me. their unconditional love changed me.
if you really want to rediscover wonder,
you need to step outside of that tiny, terrified space of rightness
look around at each other
look out at the vastness and complexity and mystery of the universe
be able to say...
i don't know.
maybe i'm wrong.
~ kathryn schulz
from her TED talk on being wrong
(watch below, seventeen minutes that changed my life)
what the hell does any of that have to do with a reDIY buck head brag wall, you wonder? here's the thing, i used to believe there was one right way to redesign a room. in theory, i knew that was ridiculous, but in real life, i made somebody cry because she didn't style bookshelves the way i believed was right. i was completely horrible, i know. please don't send me hate mail. i know how wrong i was and that beautiful, brown-eyed girl has graciously forgiven me.
hurting my friend opened my eyes. tim says "when we value winning the argument over loving the person, we lose the relationship." but she didn't give up on me either and her unconditional love changed me.
determined to value loving people over winning arguments, i now force myself to shut up when the brilliant people who help us help others love coming home have ideas that feel wrong to me. shutting up is one of the hardest and best things i do. i am more proud of our work than i have ever been. clients are happier than they have ever been. and people all over the country are asking us to come redesign their homes.
this is what happened when i learned to let go, shut up, and love others by encouraging them to give their gifts back to the world in ways that are different from my own. not right. not wrong. just different. there is peace and freedom when you let go of the illusion that you know everything.
so i showed up at homegoods, late as usual, to shop for zain's room. when i saw passion in the eyes of angela and kelly as they held up buck heads and talked about spray painting them orange, i didn't make them cry. i shut up about my idea. and i encouraged them to give their gifts back to the world in a way that is different from my own. not right. not wrong. just different. and then this happened...
BIG LOVE and GRATITUDE to the lovely lady at lowes who helped us find the perfect orange...
everyone who comes into our life is our teacher if we let them be.
sometimes we learn what to be.
sometimes we learn what not to be.
but we always learn when we choose to live life as a student, not a teacher.