by christina britt lewis and timothy dean lewis
the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. this we all know.
but good lord, peaceful parenting of little ones was the hardest thing we ever did.
right now while they tell stories and eat waffles on a cold monday morning,
i'm really happy we never tossed them out the window into a snow drift in new hampshire.
it was that hard.
this was my song...
we have teenagers who think we hung the moon.
they are the most fun we have ever had. truth. i swear. i would so tell you.
they open our eyes and change us. all the time. we learn as much from them as they have from us.
we did not believe the lie that all teenagers despise and disrespect parents.
believing that lie is self-fulfilling prophecy.
and it is so status quo.
the thing is, they learn best by example. and they know. kids know. remember? they know us better than anybody. who they think we are is pretty much who we really are. so spend more energy on being who you want them to be than on insisting they be who you want them to be. problems get solved when we focus on fixing ourselves rather than fixing other people.
big bad ugly things are going to happen. but how we respond to those things is our choice.
our soul sister, michelle mcconnell, has this to say about that.
if you want them to be fun, be fun.
if you want them to be respectful, be respectful.
if you want them to be kind, be kind.
if you want them to be fair, be fair.
if you want them to be nonviolent, be nonviolent.
if you want them to be empathetic, be empathetic.
if you want them to be strong, be strong.
if you want them to be socially adept, be socially adept.
if you want them to be people who stand up for themselves, stand up for yourself.
if you want them to be sacrificial, be sacrificial.
if you want them to be interesting, be interesting.
if you want them to be forgiving, be forgiving.
if you want them to be selfless, be selfless.
if you want them to be thoughtful, be thoughtful.
if you want them to be people who stand up for others, stand up for others.
if you want them to be happy, be happy.
if you want them to be generous, be generous.
if you want them to be people who use their power for good, use your power for good.
if you want them to be calm, be calm.
if you want them to be peaceful, be peaceful.
sometimes you don't,
but most of the time you get what you give.
so this is my song now...
every generation gets a chance to change the world.
pity the nation that won't listen to your boys and girls.
'cause the sweetest melody is the one we haven't heard.
is it true that perfect love drives out all fear?
the right to be ridiculous is something i hold dear.
oh but a change of heart comes slow...
it's not a hill, it's a mountain, as you start out the climb
do you believe me or are you doubting?
we're gonna make it all the way to the light...
baby...i know i'm not alone.
if you look closely, that's us and our friends, jen and jason, in the 2nd row at 3:50
we get away with each other. often. leave your little ones in the loving hands of others so you have your hands free to carry a bag and a new book onto a plane headed to new york city to see your favorite band on letterman...or whatever makes YOU happy. happy parents are better parents. parents become happy when they remember that they are oh so much more than parents. children become more fun to live with when they realize that the whole wide world does not actually revolve around them.
that is an illusion we create.
that is a choice we make.
and probably why many of them get so pissed when they become teenagers
and realize we’ve been lying to them their whole little lives.
so choose well.