|
feeling kind of taylor swifty this morning. trying to shake off our first negative review on houzz. haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate... as therapeutic as singing into a spatula and dancing in my kitchen has been... i believe in a world where taylor swift is mistaken. according to maya angelou, when people show you who they are, believe them. as much as i respect and admire every other word she ever said, i believe in a world where one time maya angelou was mistaken. because, here's why... my dad used to be a hater. so much so that we decided not to name either of our boys after him. so much so that we refused to let him see his grandsons when they were little. my mom cried herself to sleep more nights than not, and then got up every morning and put the broken pieces of her heart back together. never underestimate your ability to change everything. my sisters and i learned to be strong women who stay and fight for Love too. we refused to give up on him. we stayed and fought. in the name of Love. and now... cole and camden just got up early on a saturday morning to meet grandpa for breakfast. he is the man they learn Jesusy generosity from every time they go out together. while visiting colleges in california last week, i cried when cole said, mom, it's going to be really hard for me when grandpa dies. i'm going to have a really hard time with that. all of the boys friends think grandpa is the coolest man in the whole wide world. i hope they all grow up to be just like him. and i hope my grandkids are all named "john frank gromko" the second, third, fourth... because, the thing is... my dad changed. he is a Lover now. forgiveness set him free to be who he was really made to be. he told us who he was and we refused to believe him. we believed he was better than that. we believed that the darkness upon him was flooded in Light. we believed in Love and Love won.  and then there's this... our babyboy used to be a hater. he was just born pissed. he had a temper that was so terrifying i would lock myself in the bathroom when he was a toddler. i'm not sure if i was protecting him from me or me from him. it's easy to respond to violence with violence. every day i prayed for strength to never hit him back. i carried him kicking and screaming out of every grocery store in town and eventually paid for groceries to be delivered because i was too embarrassed to go back. tim and i learned to be strong parents who practice Peace in response to violence. it was the hardest thing we ever did. we refused to believe our little man was just a hater who was gonna hate hate hate hate hate. and now... camden shows us what unconditional Love looks like and creates holy moments when Peace that passes understanding floods our souls. he opens our eyes so that we can see how BIG Love really is. he could teach the world to sing and also to feel anger, walk away, calm down, think clearly, come back, and make Peace. the man/child has turned his greatest weakness into his greatest strength. he is teaching himself how to play the guitar. all he does is play soccer and play the guitar. he is determined to master my favorite song first. the one he has grown up hearing. i cry every time i hear him play and sing the general by dispatch..."go now you are forgiven..." because, the thing is... camden changed. he is a Lover now. forgiveness set him free to be who he was really made to be. he told us who he was and we refused to believe him. we believed he was better than that. we believed that the darkness upon him was flooded in Light. we believed in Love and Love won. camden and coach tim also won the last soccer game of the season today...  this i know for sure... i used to be a hater. i come from a black and white world. there was the right way, the wrong way, and no in between. being wrong was unacceptable to the god i was taught to fear. being wrong meant eternal punishment in a lake of fire. so i always had to be right. i was arrogant and self-righteous and mean. i made tim wish he had never met me. every day. for years. the beginning of the end of our hell on earth came one day about 15 years ago. i had just ridiculed tim in front of people and was bitching about him to my mom. she looked at me with Love and tears in her eyes and said... when you talk to him like that... (her tears fell) the way you talk to him... (more tears) you are so ugly i can't even look at you. and then she walked out of the house. and now, at almost 45 years old... i have never felt more beautiful. 'cause see... i changed. i am a Lover now. forgiveness set me free to be who i was really made to be. i told the ones i Love i was ugly. and they refused to believe me. they believed i was beautiful. they believed that the darkness upon me was flooded in Light. they believed in Love and Love won.  so, here's the thing... our reviewers single star and truth stretching words hurt and made me cry. but i refuse to label her as a hater who i just need to shake off. i refuse to believe that is who she really is. i judge people harshly and stretch truth too. we all do. you know we all do. so we are the same. we are all His children. she is my sister. if we want to live in Peace, we have to learn to play nice with our brothers and sisters. and dammit all to hell, i want to live in Peace. so... the part i know is true is that we disappointed her. for that, i am forever sorry and gave her a full refund. we went to market in high point in october to shop for fabulousness for a whole bunch of clients who agreed that fabulousness is worth waiting for. this is our busiest time of year with everybody wanting everything for the holidays. can't wait to show you all of the redesigns coming soon. including OUR OWN! we finished things around here thanks to the motivation of the magazine shoot that happens TUESDAY! also thanks to my design therapists, angela and kelly, who i no longer remember how i lived without. while we failed to find anything our single star sister loved, here's a sneak peek at my office and the art and pillow we found that i love at sugarboo designs. if you love them too, they will be available in january at the redesign company shop! that chair is where i am sitting right now. this is my writing place. when i look up from my computer to think, my eyes go straight to this every time... Even After All this time The Sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look What happens With a Love like that, It lights the whole sky.   excuse me while i kiss the sky
xo... christina for all Comments are closed.
|