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by christina britt lewis
another magazine wanted to photograph and publish our garage teen cave a little too late. we redesigned it into a gym for camden who is currently ranked the #2 2019 kicker in the nation. here he is kicking a 51 yard field goal, breaking the jv school record... camden is the most driven and determined person we know. and nobody exudes more joie de vivre and charisma than cole. our almost all grown up boys are our favorite people. fear not, moms and dads of little ones. refuse to believe the lie that all teenagers despise and disrespect parents. believing that lie is self-fulfilling prophecy. parenting is funny. you do the best you can. you think it matters so much. you read all the books. you try so hard. but in the end, they are who they are. we all are. stop being so hard on yourself when all does not go well. all always goes well for nobody. stop feeling so proud of yourself if yours are early to walk, talk, or get college acceptance letters. we wasted too much energy trying to get one to be more serious and the other to be less serious. the thing we thought was their weakness, was really their strength. their gift. their superpower. parenting got a whole lot easier for us when we decided to set them free to be who they are. freedom to choose freedom to question freedom to fail freedom to disagree freedom to fear not...
stop coaching and start cheering.
be their biggest fan. find and name their strengths. look for reasons to celebrate. shout it from your rooftop when they use their power for good. whisper kindly when they misuse their power. never ever ever embarrass them. my parents have always been cool. my home was where my friends wanted to be. make your kids proud and they will want to make you proud. my mom recently found this letter i wrote to her when i was pregnant with cole... 
here is what we learned the hard way... they learn best by example. and they know. kids know. remember? they know us better than anybody. who they think we are is usually who we really are. spend more energy being who you want them to be rather than insisting they be who you want them to be. problems get solved when we focus on fixing ourselves rather than fixing other people. sometimes the best thing thing you can do for your kids is to go away for a weekend without them. here is what we learned the easy way... when your first born moves off campus and takes his bed with him, turn his room into the best room in the house and he will come back to visit you often...
before...
after... 
...camden's jersey collection in ikea frames. west elm sectional with back cushions that lift right off and turn it into a big comfy bed. 
tim's mom saved all of his star wars figures and his entire smurf collection. those are some 40 year old toys right there... 
camden did not start kicking footballs until last year. he was a soccer goalkeeper like his father and his big brother. tim waited in a wicked long line to have adam vinatieri sign this football when camden was a baby. we kind of forgot about it until he started kicking. found it in the attic and gave it to him for his 16th birthday. some things feel like they were just meant to be. 
trail maps from mountains we have conquered in ikea frames make fun cheap art. my boys now play my mom's guitar... 
or "one of the few things i would grab if there was a fire"... 
#gopats xo... christina for all Comments are closed.
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