by christina britt lewis
to this day, they remain the most beautiful girls i have ever seen in real life. i remember their names, their voices, their shoes... they are the reason my parents pulled me out of public school after fifth grade. they were cool. they were popular. they were mean. when i came home from school in tears, my oh so wise mom would say... the best revenge is a life well-lived. they were the first of many oppressive people in my life. we all have those voices in our heads. some of us way more than others. certainly way more than me. the ones who make us doubt ourselves. the ones who say we can't. the ones who try to keep us down. sometimes it's the very people who are supposed to teach us to swim who pull us under. that aches. the pain is deep. we never forget how close we come to drowning. but what we do with our memories is up to us. we let our past destroy us or we let our past empower us. the freedom to choose our response can never be taken from us. victor frankl, the psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, put it this way... between stimulus and response there is a space. in that space is our power to choose our response. in our response lies our growth and our freedom. it is a lesson i keep learning, people who use you to make themselves feel significant never go away. but i now also see that i owe everything i am to mean girls, authoritarianism, and patriarchy. they gave me something to overcome, to prove wrong, and to rise up against. they accidentally taught me how to swim... so what does all of that have to do with this fun little redesign? happy you asked. before... after... sweet piper... before... after... installation days are not what you see on hgtv. we don't put a vase on the mantel, a pillow on the sofa, eat a cupcake, and call it a day. we move furniture, hang art, steam linens, and are lucky if we have time for a granola bar for lunch. i came home from this one tired, hungry, and knowing i would not be able to move the next day. tim and i sat in our notsobig backyard and drank cheap wine in ikea chairs. the shades cole found on the ground after a concert kept the setting sun out of my eyes. we noticed how big the forsythia has grown from the free cuttings our green thumbed friends gave us. george, the rescue dog that nobody wanted, took his place on my lap. i told tim i was bummed that i ripped a big hole in the back of my new shirt from marshall's. we debated leftover homemade veggie soup or grilled cheese for dinner. or maybe both. tim took this photo... then i asked him to take a bunch more. then he was all annoyed with me for being like that. then i was all annoyed with him for not understanding why i would be like that. then he made me laugh. then i posted the stupid photo. then we went inside for soup and grilled cheese. then somebody commented... why does your life always look so glamorous? the idea was so preposterous to me that i felt like i was back in middle school. i asked tim if she was making fun of me. the look in his eyes was the same as the look in my mom's eyes so many years ago... the same look people get when they see a baby bird with a broken wing in the grass. he gently explained that she was not making fun of me. she was complimenting me. he said... we have a beautiful life. we live very well. and my memories came flooding back. the best revenge is a life well-lived. my mom was right. again. mean girls, authoritarianism, and patriarchy no longer hold any power over me. if glamorous means rich, fancy, and manicured, i am not glamorous. but if glamorous means "full of excitement, adventure, and unusual activity" like the dictionary says, then i am wicked glamorous. here is what i have come to know... you can have birthmarks and be beautiful. you can have a jaw deformity and a smile people say lights up a room. you can have just a few friends and have a whole lot of fun. you can wear inexpensive clothes and look glamorous. you can break the rules and be successful. you can leave organized religion and know peace that passes understanding. you can have an egalitarian relationship and be happily married. you can be a woman and provide for your family. you can raise sons who respect women. you can stop pretending you know the answers and be happier than you ever imagined. that all might seem super obvious to you, but we all have our own stuff. your stuff is different than my stuff. what holds power over you? what keeps you down? what do you need to overcome? when they say... you can't. make your whole entire life shout back... watch me. xo... christina for all by christina britt lewis we got a whole lot of resumes after kelly's article. resumes still work in some fields, i suppose... but in creative fields, better to make yourself stand out from the crowd. we have recently hired some seriously talented people we are PSYCHED about. you already know kelly's story, here's how everyone else got the job... shelley: tim and i met shelley at a party at my sister's house. she told great stories and made us laugh. her love for life and enthusiasm about all things totally won us over. she is so much fun! shelley emailed after she found and read our blog and said she loved what we do. she is super successful in her nursing career and has some flexibility in her schedule. shelley loves design, so offered to work for us for free to learn the business. we did not let her work for free, but we were so impressed with the offer, we hired her. maria: kelly was shopping for bedding for a master bedroom. well-meaning sales people often make suggestions when we are shopping. for a designer, shopping is like doing a puzzle. it requires focus and concentration. we have all of these pieces we need to put together to make a beautiful finished room. sometimes we think we are just about done with our puzzle... only to find we are missing a piece or a pillow sham. same thing. suggestions are often distracting until maria came along. she quickly put together a complete "plan b" bedding puzzle that impressed the heck out of kelly. maria got the job before she even knew there was one. kacie: she read kelly's article and filled out our redesign your career contact form. kacie wrote about her passion for the non-profit she works for and her life-long love of design. she said, "you might not know it yet, but you're my kind of people... i read pages and pages of your blog and felt like i knew you all... like we were long-time friends (well, minus the part about the patriots...i'm a steelers fan!)" she was wrong. i knew it already. i knew it when she answered "what stops you from starting?" with.. "the only thing that stops me is myself." people who get that we are our own problem and we are our own solution are our kind of people. she sent a link to her brilliantly named blog, changingchaney.com and we were hooked. we are not the only smitten ones, today was kacie's first installation day... and it also happens to be the day apartment therapy featured her own kitchen redesign!! so how to set yourself apart from the resume writers... invite people over. connect with people. in real life. beyond social media. ask questions. be curious. kitchen table conversations change the world. we hired kelly, shelley, and wound up on tv all because of kitchen table conversations. find the beauty in what you do. be successful at what you are already doing. maria wowed kelly by excelling at the work she was already doing. no job is fun all of the time. doing what you love is the hardest work you will ever do. being a person who finds the beauty in everything makes you irresistible. flattery gets you everywhere. express sincere gratitude for the work of the company you hope to work for. send an email and give specific examples. repost something and tag the company. it will be noticed. send cupcakes. write a compelling story. people fall a little bit in love with anybody who moves their soul with a good story. send the email you keep thinking about. tell your story. but remember that brevity is the soul of wit. don't ask for anything right away. "just want you to know i think you're awesome." will get you a whole lot farther than, "just want to meet you for coffee to pick your brain." if you succeed at building a relationship, you will never even need to ask "are you hiring?" send a thank you note. or, you know, cupcakes. have fun! fun people want to work with fun people. don't take everything so seriously. in a creative field, don't worry about your qualifications. we were not hiring, but then, the right people came along. fun people. just be you. and so you know... i am not going anywhere. tim and i did not decide to start all over again. again. and move to saba. yet... but kelly and i ARE going to san francisco to redesign a home next month. we are redesigning all over the country these days and just had to turn down a project in china! so we found super talented help on the home front to keep the wait in charlotte to a minimum... and so the next time china calls, we can go! kelly will still run things 'round here and i will still lead the design on every project. you will meet with me because i love you guys and meeting you and getting to know you is everything. your happiness will always be the most important thing to us. and we know that these fresh eyes and fun people will make happy homes happen more than before. just you wait. (but for a shorter time now ;-) xo... shelley, kelly, kacie, and christina (maria coming soon)
by christina britt lewis
Back before the election, friends of ours came over for dinner. There was candlelight, chicken marsala, cheap red wine, and the avett brothers. But more importantly, there was a kitchen table conversation that changed the world...
Jalaybrian and his grandparents, William and Susan Black
Jalaybrian was born with microcephaly, a rare life-long neurological condition with no cure. He cannot walk or talk. He cannot give hugs or say thank you's out loud, but you cannot miss the light and love and in his eyes. He was not expected to see or hear or live for more than a year. Well... that little man can see and hear just fine. He is so very full of life that he shines like stars in the universe. Jalaybrian is 4 years old and lives with his grandma and grandpa in a cute little house with an attached garage and upstairs bedrooms. Every day and every night Susan and William have been carrying their growing grandson up and down the stairs. There was no room on the first floor for his hospital bed and all of his medical equipment. Their hope was to redesign their garage to make a room for Jalaybrian on the first floor. While they were waiting to hear if their garage redesign would be covered, Tim and I were waiting to hear if HGTV would pick up our show redesigning garages. We all did not get what we hoped for so desperately. Sometimes when you think you lost, you won. Not long after all of that, our friends came over for dinner, friends who knew us when. The ones who believe in you before you believe in yourself...they make you who you are. Keep those people. If you've lost them, find them. Work out any differences. Agree to disagree. Never walk away from the ones who believe in you first. To the rest of the world you smile and say "it was an honor to be nominated" but to the ones who knew you when, you say "this sucks, I suck, it all sucks..." and they roll their eyes and say something like "get over yourself, I know a garage that needs a redesign, some people have REAL problems, ya know" or something equally profound and life-changing. And that's pretty much how it all went down. Next thing we knew, sweet Susan called and invited me over. When she welcomed me into her home and introduced me to Jalaybrian, there was no turning back. I heard myself saying things like "we got this" before I had any idea how exactly we were going to "got this." But here's the thing... We the people rise up. That's what we the people do. We were uniquely qualified to meet this specific need. Redesigning a garage is the thing our little company was almost famous for. We were going to help this family no matter what and every time we say "yes" to making the world a better place before we have the funds, people rise up. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Everything in us wanted to just do this quietly and anonymously by ourselves. But putting the idea out there meant that others could join us in our mission and together we could create the world we want. Sometimes something comes along and you know down deep in your soul, you are supposed to do it. Something that feels bigger than you, and kind of impossible. You might call it the universe speaking, or the result of every decision you ever made, or a calling from God, or giving to the greater good... it's all the same. We have to listen to that still, small voice inside of us. We gotta give when the spirit says give. When I met Jalaybrian, unexpected tears fell. I've learned to listen... Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention. They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next. - Frederick Buechner Not too long ago, things were really hard for us. We know what if feels like to work hard and still need help. We promised ourselves that when we succeeded at making our dreams come true we would spend our lives helping other people make their dreams come true. When you've worked hard, and done well, and walked through the doorway of opportunity... you do not slam it shut behind you... You reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed. - Michelle Obama We started a Gofundme campaign and we the people gave. We raised half of our goal in one day. People from every political persuasion came together to make the world a more beautiful place for this family. United in our diversity. Better together. Working for the greater good. This is what happens when people refuse to feel powerless and choose to change the world... Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama Refuse to feel powerless. Sometimes when we think we lost, we won. We are who we are not because everything came easily. We are who we are because of everything we had to overcome. Creativity comes from frustration with the way things are, when we so choose. Do something. You don't even have to leave your home to change the world for somebody. We live in the time of Gofundme. We can give directly to people now. Like right now. Like from our computers. Read the stories and pay attention when unexpected tears come. What moves your soul is different than what moves my soul. We need all of us. We can make a difference in the lives of our brothers and sisters. We are powerful. We can use our power for good. Every dollar matters. $5 bought books for Jalaybrian. $5 matters. You have the power to change the world, one person at a time. Go where your unexpected tears take you. The fun part is, you get more than you give. It's actually sort of selfish, in a way. If you want to be happy, make other people happy. Happiness is contagious. Use power to help people. For we are given power not to advance our own purposes nor to make a great show in the world, nor a name. There is but one just use of power and it is to serve people. - George W. Bush We can serve people with more than money. We can give our time. Our friendship. Our love... Invite people over. Light candles. Make spaghetti. Fancy is fussy. Forget fancy. Kitchen table conversations change the world. If all of your friends think and vote and pray just like you do, you need some new friends. Welcome people into your life and home who think differently. Ask questions. Listen more than you talk. Seek and find how you are the same. Discover why they think and vote and pray the way they do. Listen. You don't always have to say what you think back. You can just listen and pass the garlic bread. Give up the right to be right for the sake of relationship. Feeling powerless does not change the world. Deciding everything is hard and not worth the effort does not change the world. Lying on your sofa and watching tv every night does not change the world. Reposting on Facebook and not calling your senator does not change the world. Complaining to your friend and not doing something about it does not change the world. We the people have the power to make ideas a reality. We the people have the power to make dreams come true. We the people have the power to create the world we want. We are the boss of us. We are. No pastor, priest, or president controls our souls. No man can save us. No man can enslave us. We are the ones we have been waiting for. Time to save ourselves. Fear not. Rise up. Make change. Be free. We got this. We are so blessed, and yet I feel for those others who have needs. I wish there come a day when our hearts outweigh our differences. - William Black with so much love and gratitude, Tim and Christina for all of these world changers... Jalaybrian... thank you for inspiring us all Susan and Wiliam Black... thank you for inviting us into your home, speaking wisdom, and becoming our friends To all who donated... thank you for proving we the people have the power to create the world we want Kelly Lies... thank you for always saying "we got this" and always making everything better Amy and Lance Murphy... thank you for giving us the answers to all of life's questions #askamy William "Uncle Bill" and Leena Britt... thank you for proving that marriage is fun and there is always a way Jason Wishnefsky and Kendrick Williams... Carolinas Handling Company thank you for making us laugh and being our heroes Jeff Buffington... Buffington Home Improvements thank you for going above and beyond and exceeding every expectation Dee and Denny Castillo... Quality Air of the Carolinas thank you for making air cleaner and being our HVAC angels John and Linda Gromko... thank you for making me who I am and teaching me to see the beauty in everything Cole and Camden Lewis... thank you for showing us the light and for being our greatest contribution to the world Kayla Ayres... FOX 46 Charlotte thank you for thinking our story worthy and telling it so beautifully watch the BIG REVEAL on FOX 46 Charlotte news... Strangers get results for young boy with microcephaly by Kayla Ayres by christina britt lewis peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. best way we know to have calm in your heart is to have calm in your home... peace is notsomuch the absence of struggle, but the presence of love. and maybe a hanging chair in your bedroom. xo... christina for all before... after... take your home from cold to cozy...
the mirror and art they already had work beautifully with these one-of-a-kind baskets, woven by african craftspeople, to create a full and fun gallery wall. the baskets bring texture and coziness to the room and support a great cause... "The majority of these weavers are women, working to support themselves and their families. By weaving baskets in the traditional manner, the weavers of Africa are preserving their cultural heritage as well as advancing themselves financially.... We are members of the Fair Trade Federation, an organization that shares our strong belief that indigenous people around the world should be compensated fairly for their amazing work... We feel that our business offers our customers a win-win situation: by purchasing one of our rare finds, you are not only getting a wonderful, handmade basket for your home... you are also contributing to the preservation of African culture and helping a craftsperson become financially independent. It's a true economic partnership in every sense of the word." coziness is... coming home, kicking off your shoes, pouring a glass of wine, sitting down, putting your feet up, talking with the ones you love, knowing you used your moolah to make the world a more beautiful place. what are you waiting for? get cozy. make all be well with your soul. xo... christina for all |